Jock Strap

If you’ve played ice hockey before, you’ll agree that the absolute worst thing is forgetting even just one piece of equipment. What you realize is that because it’s a game played on ice with hard rubber pucks, each piece of equipment is essential. Elbow pads offer protection from falling on the ice, gloves protect your hands from sticks and skate blades and shin pads protect your legs from a slap shot. The jock (or jill for ladies) is one piece of equipment you definitely don’t want to play without for obvious reasons. Oh and you put it on first, so you don’t want to find yourself in Joey’s predicament, having to undress – that is, if Herb can help him out somehow…

A Little Help

Joey is off to try out for the Cold Springs hockey team and he’s not off to a great start. Herb is still in disbelief that everything in Joey’s hockey bag will actually fit onto his body. And that he’ll still be able to move once it’s all on.

Uncle

The ball-eating bush proves to be a formidable foe. When we last saw Herb, he was off to tackle the prickly fiend with a chainsaw in tow. By the time Joey makes it out to the front yard, the bush has Herb locked in a deadly chokehold like a boa constrictor. It also doesn’t seem as if the bush understands the North American expression of saying “Uncle” to submit…

Chainsaw Massacre

Herb comes up with a pretty extreme solution to deal with the Joey’s ball-eating bush problem and Joey has to think quickly to keep his mom off their trail.

Firing Squad

Joey takes on the ball-eating bush face-to-face. And now he has nine missing tennis balls instead of just one. And the ball-eating bush has indigestion.

The Ball-Eating Bush

The beast has a name! Similar to the kite-eating tree that haunted Charlie Brown, Joey has his own inanimate nemesis. The ball-eating bush is most definitely inspired by the dense, prickly, angry bush alongside my driveway growing up in small-town Ontario, Canada. I blasted many a tennis ball into that thing while playing ball hockey in my driveway and it never ceased to amaze how they would just disappear. Sometimes I’d find an old ball rather than the new one shot into the bush, but mostly I’d come up empty altogether. My parents did eventually remove the bush after I had moved away and kept a box full of the old, decaying tennis balls. I still think some of them now reside in the alternate universe with all of my left socks from the dryer…

Worst-case Scenario

Joey’s daydream sequence continues with Wayne and Mario as he resigns himself to the fate of his ‘lost’ slapshot… To a kid playing ball hockey in their driveway, finding your ball lodged in an angry, prickly bush is clearly the worst-case scenario. I’d argue you’d rather dent your garage door or break a window. Don’t @ me.

Ker-thatch!

Why pass the puck to one of arguably the two best hockey players of all-time when you can let loose with a big clapper? Cliffhanger alert: that didn’t sound like it went in the net or hit the goalie… Oh, and this is clearly an homage to the 1987 version of Team Canada.

Merry Christmas!

We’d like to wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! To all of our readers, thank you for your support in 2020 and best wishes for 2021!

Christmas Morning

I’ve been fortunate enough to have lived both of these Christmas mornings. As a kid, I distinctly remember laying in bed, patiently watching each minute pass by in the darkness on my digital clock radio in anticipation of waking my parents up. As a parent – usually staying up half the night – Christmas morning always comes too quickly no matter how long you can get your kids to hold off. Happy Christmas Eve, Planet Joey readers! This is always my favourite day of the holiday season, spent together with family and with palpable excitement and anticipation. Cheers!

Spiked!

The holiday fun continues around Joey’s house, where Herb clearly chose the wrong punch bowl of egg nog. That stuff is potent enough to take Joey’s curls to the next level! And you know it’s a rip-roaring festive event when the cheese ball is brought out… Fun fact: Joey is reading my favourite Christmas comic book, Pink Panther #60, A Pink Christmas.

The Law of Cat Inertia

In the first of our ongoing feature called Feline Physics where we examine to fascinating science around the behaviour of cats, we look at one of the forces that can get any cat moving at near light speed.

David Attenborough Voice

Joey’s mark is in and there it is: the fact his teacher found it to be a marvellous piece of creative writing kept him from failing. And it certainly is an interesting question: would a bear who enjoys a latte to start the day have been any more believable with Sir David Attenborough presenting? Y’know, I might be inclined to believe it…

An Overactive Imagination

Joey’s presentation apparently didn’t go as planned and his teacher believes Herb might have been a product of Joey’s imagination? Uh, she may be onto something…

Groundbreaking Discoveries

It’s the culmination of the big assignment: Joey has to get up in front of his new class and present his detailed, somewhat surprising findings after following Herb around closely for a week. Herb feels pretty confident about it. What could possibly go wrong? Also, did your school have green chalkboards or black?

Hibernation @ Home

Joey arrives home from school to find that Herb has indeed found a suitable location for his hygge hibernation. Did you seriously think he was going to end up in a cave in the woods somewhere?

Hygge

As the subject turns to hibernation, we learn that not any old cave is suitable for Herb – he prefers to spend the winter months embracing the defining characteristic of Danish culture: Hygge (pronounced “hoo-gah”). Part of Hygge is about enjoying good times with good people, but Herb seems to be more interested in a space that strictly adheres to the decor traditions. In fact, here are some ways you can give your winter space the Herb seal of approval.

Cedar Plank

By now, I think you’re understanding that Herb enjoys, um, the finer things in life… There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that of course – Herb is not your ordinary bear. And hoo boy, this is shaping up to be quite an interesting assignment for Joey. Oh, and if you’ve never tried grilling salmon on a cedar plank, well, you should.

Bears and Fancy Coffees

Joey begins the research portion of his assignment on grizzly bears with a trip to Starbean – Herb’s go-to coffee joint in Cold Springs. Herb’s journey of self-discovery begins by examining his love of upscale caffeinated beverages and yeah, the milk foam designs are indeed pretty cool.

There Is No Try

Herb has decided to help Joey with his assignment on grizzly bears in hopes it will be a journey of self-discovery. He’s willing to give himself over to his natural instincts to see if he knows how to properly “bear.” For Joey’s sake, let’s hope this is a good idea… Also: any time you can shoehorn in a line from Star Wars, you gotta do it, right?

The Assignment

Spoken like a true parent, Herb. Joey thinks he’s got this one figured out, but I don’t know about you – I don’t think Herb is your textbook grizzly bear. This might be interesting if Joey can use his powers of persuasion here.

Sängbord

We’ve all been there before with assemble-it-yourself furniture from a certain Swedish company – you think it’s going to be a snap until something was put on backwards because you didn’t read the vague instructions in enough detail and suddenly, you’re disassembling and going back to that critical step two. Joey’s dad figures he can handle this one and I suppose he does show a little creativity with this project. You know the furniture has been intelligently designed when it functions as intended even without unpacking it. Oh and yes, Sängbord is apparently Swedish for “bedside table” in case you were wondering.

Charge It

Herb seems to be settling in nicely to his new life in Cold Springs… He’s found a comfortable chair in which to do a little reading and he’s also apparently quite comfortable using Joey’s mom’s credit card. Have fun explaining your new found love of architecture to your parents, Joey.

Klunk!

Watching your pet cat and stuffed bear in a heated argument over how they are going to decorate and rearrange your bedroom proved to be the final straw for Joey. I’m sure he’ll come around, because, well… he’d better lay claim to some real estate soon or he’ll be doing homework in his closet.

A Talking Cat?

Joey is trying really hard to come to grips with everything and he’s suddenly been thrown yet another curve. Meet Penelope, Joey’s… talking… pet cat.

A Decent Latte

No Joey, you didn’t dream all of this. And it turns out Herb is a bit of a – bear – in the morning if he hasn’t had his premium caffeine fix. On a positive note, it looks like the Joey’s bed got put together somehow, so there’s that.

Bed Time

If you’ve ever moved you’ve been there. It’s a stressful, exhausting, overwhelming experience – even if you aren’t moving to northern Manitoba or your stuffed bear didn’t just start talking to you. A smart person once gave me this tip: put the bed together first. On moving day, when you run out of steam, that’s it – you’re done. You collapse on the spot. Been there, got that t-shirt, Joey.

Turkeytown

This just keeps getting better for Joey – not only is he about to start grade six 3000 km away from his former home, but he’s just learned that his new town has a turkey processing plant placed smack-dab in the middle of it. Fun fact: this is a shameless shout-out to my hometown of Thamesford, Ontario, whose local economy was also anchored by a turkey plant in the centre of the village – Cold Springs Farm. I spent a summer working there (fortunately, only one) and yes, on warm, humid summer nights the smell was unmistakable.

A Double-Double™ It Is

For those non-Canadians out there, a Double-Double™ is the standard way to order a coffee with two creams and two sugars at any Tim Hortons location. A Regular™ is one cream/one sugar and the other option on the table is the Triple-Triple™ if you like your coffee… decadent. Anyways, Herb now has an appreciation for Joey’s plight.

Magic Lamp

Joey’s stuffed bear – Herb – is suddenly sitting beside him in the back seat. And talking to him. And he just ordered a latte. Life comes at you fast, Joey.

Half-Caf, Non-Fat, Dry Latte

Is this English? It is apparently and I’m being told it’s a very specific coffee order. Also: cliffhanger alert!

July in Manitoba

Admittedly, this is kind of a cheap shot at places like northern Manitoba, which everyone assumes are freezing all year round. Let’s just imagine it was a particularly “fresh” summer day en route to Cold Springs and Joey isn’t trying very hard to look for positives at the moment.

Grizzly Bear Crossing

Joey’s family is moving from the bustling, cosmopolitan city of Toronto to… the remote town of Cold Springs, Manitoba. He’s pretty sure his life is over, but he may have some more immediate concerns with his new home.

It’s All About You, Joey

Well, we’ve come to the end of our run of six promotional comics and there you have it: Joey and Herb don’t sound so confident about the longevity of this thing. Don’t take their word for it, however. Next, we go back to the beginning with the storyline ‘Destination: Cold Springs’, where we catch up to Joey and his family en route to Cold Springs, Manitoba…

Bring on the Nukes!

Gaston has reached the end of his rope here. He really, really, really wants to destroy this comic strip. Thank goodness Mimi is able to talk some sense into him and hey, a Beetle Bailey reference for the old folks out there!

Whiteout

As an homage to the days of comics being printed on good ol’ newsprint, our villains have now run the gamut of ways to sabotage this thing: fire, India ink and now it’s been revealed that Gaston had asked the artist – me – for whiteout. Remember that stuff? Also known as ‘correction fluid’ and by the brand name Liquid Paper, it was pretty darn toxic so I opted to go with the other kind of whiteout we have here in Canada…

Lousy Cartoon Physics

If this strip was indeed printed in a newspaper, dumping a large bottle of India ink on it would be a surefire way to destroy it. As it turns out, a closed comic panel will allow a gas to pass through it, but not a liquid. Who knew?

Ridiculous Sized

In yet another homage to the comic strips of yesteryear, Gaston has moved on to Plan B: India ink. Mimi seems to have her doubts about this strategy, but the bigger question is: where did Gaston get such a large bottle of ink? And where did Joey and Herb find a fire extinguisher that quickly?

We’re on Fire!

Here it is, officially the first Planet Joey comic released into the public domain! Gaston is hell bent on sabotaging the new strip with fire (forgetting that he’s in it), which… seems like an ineffective way to ruin a webcomic. Imagine that you’ve travelled back in time and you’re reading this in a newspaper and it makes more sense. This is the first of six promotional strips featuring our heroes + villains we’re running to launch Planet Joey. Please feel free to share and/or engage in the comments section below! Trivia: This exact strip was originally drawn in the spring of 2003 almost exactly as you see it here. Over the years, it’s been re-drawn a few times as character designs and my inking styles and methods changed, but it has essentially existed for 17+ years waiting for this day.