Category Archives: Planet Joey

Bespectacled Dump Truck

It’s game on for Joey and the Golden Turkeys! It doesn’t take too long for Joey to lose his focus — and he suffers the consequences for it.

A Little Entertainment

We find ourselves catching up with the resident villains of our humble strip – Gaston Malade and Mimi Dangereux – and find out that they have indeed been stationed in northern Manitoba by evil mastermind Cyrus Belgrave to work on some sort of top-secret project… And not just anywhere in northern Manitoba, but good ol’ Cold Springs. In fact, they’re headed toward the arena where a red-headed kid takes to the ice, representing said town for the first time. Cue the foreboding music…

Home Opener

Fresh off of finding out he made the team and the receipt of his fresh new uniform (including bright yellow helmet), Joey suits up officially for the Cold Springs Golden Turkeys in front of family and friends in a jam-packed arena! What could possibly go wrong?

Buzzer-Beater

Joey’s jump shot at the buzzer rims out. Again and again. The game is lost and he has a mess to clean up.

The Law of Cat Magnetism

Feline Physics returns where we learn The Law of Cat Magnetism also applies to green sweaters as well as black and blue – and on game day for Joey, no less!

Black Cats and Broken Mirrors

There are consequences to being late on uniform day. For Joey, one of them was receiving a bright yellow Jofa helmet (circa 1981) instead of a new green lid like the rest of his teammates. The second consequence was the all-important jersey number. It turns out #13 was at the bottom of the pile. It’s true that players like Mats Sundin, Teemu Selanne and Pavel Datsyuk – all Hall of Famers – donned this number, but Herb is fearing the worst…

Yellow Hat

Joey shows up at the Cold Springs Arena on a high to pick up his official Golden Turkeys uniform after making the team… And because Joey’s stories are based on my stories, of course he gets an old yellow helmet (yes, I had a yellow helmet) and of course it’s because he shows up late. As usual, Herb has a way of putting it all in perspective at the kitchen table.

Eat at Nan’s

It’s the first ever appearance of Frank and Egmond as they meet face-to-face with the Perseverance Rover on the surface of their homeland, Mars. Apparently their ‘Nan’ runs a Martian diner… Who knew?

Who Came First?

In one of the very first Planet Joey comic strips ever written (way back in 2003), Joey ponders one of the great mysteries of the Paleozoic era.

Grapefruit League Dreaming

Somewhere — specifically Florida and Arizona — it’s warm enough to play baseball and Joey wants to be there. For those of us residing in the northern United States and Canada, the phrase “pitchers and catchers reporting” is synonymous with the agonizing two months before the weather is remotely warm enough to get out and play a little baseball. The good news however, is that spring is indeed on the way. Nice play at shortstop, Joey — unfortunately you’ll have to keep playing with your snowman infield for a few more weeks. And yeah, I could go for a ballpark hot dog too…

There’s Always a Catch

There you have it: Joey’s hard work and perseverance has paid off – he made the Cold Springs hockey team! And Herb’s right – there is always a catch. As it turns out, there were just enough players to fill out the roster without having to make cuts, so Joey’s on the team. Now it’s time to ponder the line combinations – will Joey and “Gigantor” play together?

Strict Orders

The coaching staff has made their decision. Will Joey make the Cold Springs hockey team? Cliffhanger alert! Yup, we’re going to drag this one out for one more strip…

Breakaway Drill

Hockey tryouts continue with Joey having the opportunity to show his scoring prowess and a theme is developing: all of these comics are ending with loud, cartoony mishaps…

The Orange Menace

Joey’s struggles continue at hockey tryouts – this time with inanimate objects. Not only are the kids bigger and tougher in Cold Springs, but it looks like the pylons are too…

Puck Battle Drill

The Cold Springs hockey tryouts are under way and the first drill pits Joey against “Gigantor” in a battle for the puck along the boards. Not only did Joey not emerge victorious, but he had to go hunting for some missing equipment. His attitude remains positive, however! Also, wearing full Leafs gear to hockey tryouts in Manitoba is definitely making yourself a target.

Thin Ice

With hockey tryouts looming and the ball-eating bush cramping Joey’s ability to practice in his driveway, he and Herb are headed over to a nearby pond to get in some practice…

No Pucks

Besides having to do push-ups or dry land training, it’s the worst punishment you can receive at a hockey practice: no pucks; skating only. Well, thanks to Joey, that’s what all of the boys trying out for the Cold Springs hockey team have in store for them for the next couple of hours. I’m sure that’ll go over well…

Jock Strap

If you’ve played ice hockey before, you’ll agree that the absolute worst thing is forgetting even just one piece of equipment. What you realize is that because it’s a game played on ice with hard rubber pucks, each piece of equipment is essential. Elbow pads offer protection from falling on the ice, gloves protect your hands from sticks and skate blades and shin pads protect your legs from a slap shot. The jock (or jill for ladies) is one piece of equipment you definitely don’t want to play without for obvious reasons. Oh and you put it on first, so you don’t want to find yourself in Joey’s predicament, having to undress – that is, if Herb can help him out somehow…

A Little Help

Joey is off to try out for the Cold Springs hockey team and he’s not off to a great start. Herb is still in disbelief that everything in Joey’s hockey bag will actually fit onto his body. And that he’ll still be able to move once it’s all on.

Uncle

The ball-eating bush proves to be a formidable foe. When we last saw Herb, he was off to tackle the prickly fiend with a chainsaw in tow. By the time Joey makes it out to the front yard, the bush has Herb locked in a deadly chokehold like a boa constrictor. It also doesn’t seem as if the bush understands the North American expression of saying “Uncle” to submit…

Chainsaw Massacre

Herb comes up with a pretty extreme solution to deal with the Joey’s ball-eating bush problem and Joey has to think quickly to keep his mom off their trail.

Firing Squad

Joey takes on the ball-eating bush face-to-face. And now he has nine missing tennis balls instead of just one. And the ball-eating bush has indigestion.

The Ball-Eating Bush

The beast has a name! Similar to the kite-eating tree that haunted Charlie Brown, Joey has his own inanimate nemesis. The ball-eating bush is most definitely inspired by the dense, prickly, angry bush alongside my driveway growing up in small-town Ontario, Canada. I blasted many a tennis ball into that thing while playing ball hockey in my driveway and it never ceased to amaze how they would just disappear. Sometimes I’d find an old ball rather than the new one shot into the bush, but mostly I’d come up empty altogether. My parents did eventually remove the bush after I had moved away and kept a box full of the old, decaying tennis balls. I still think some of them now reside in the alternate universe with all of my left socks from the dryer…

Worst-case Scenario

Joey’s daydream sequence continues with Wayne and Mario as he resigns himself to the fate of his ‘lost’ slapshot… To a kid playing ball hockey in their driveway, finding your ball lodged in an angry, prickly bush is clearly the worst-case scenario. I’d argue you’d rather dent your garage door or break a window. Don’t @ me.

Ker-thatch!

Why pass the puck to one of arguably the two best hockey players of all-time when you can let loose with a big clapper? Cliffhanger alert: that didn’t sound like it went in the net or hit the goalie… Oh, and this is clearly an homage to the 1987 version of Team Canada.

Merry Christmas!

We’d like to wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! To all of our readers, thank you for your support in 2020 and best wishes for 2021!

Christmas Morning

I’ve been fortunate enough to have lived both of these Christmas mornings. As a kid, I distinctly remember laying in bed, patiently watching each minute pass by in the darkness on my digital clock radio in anticipation of waking my parents up. As a parent – usually staying up half the night – Christmas morning always comes too quickly no matter how long you can get your kids to hold off. Happy Christmas Eve, Planet Joey readers! This is always my favourite day of the holiday season, spent together with family and with palpable excitement and anticipation. Cheers!

Spiked!

The holiday fun continues around Joey’s house, where Herb clearly chose the wrong punch bowl of egg nog. That stuff is potent enough to take Joey’s curls to the next level! And you know it’s a rip-roaring festive event when the cheese ball is brought out… Fun fact: Joey is reading my favourite Christmas comic book, Pink Panther #60, A Pink Christmas.

Snow for Joey

Go figure, now that Joey has moved to northern Manitoba, it’s Christmas and he’s still waiting on some snow to make the festive season feel just right… Things aren’t looking good until Earl arrives on his zamboni and donates just the right amount of the white stuff to make a snow angel, a snowman or have a good ol’ fashioned snowball fight! Fun fact: This is actually a true story! The Arena Manager in my hometown of Thamesford, Ontario (also Earl!) did in fact drive the zamboni around the corner to my house to stave off a green Christmas by dropping off some arena snow on our front lawn – complete with a sign affixed to a broken hockey stick! I’ve been waiting many years to turn this into a comic – God bless you, Earl Carter.

Rapscallions

It’s been awhile, so let’s see what Mimi Dangereux and Gaston Malade are up to. Oh. Come on guys, leave our narrator alone or you’re grounded for a few more weeks! Also: anytime you can use the word ‘rapscallion‘ in a comic, you just have to, right?

The Law of Cat Inertia

In the first of our ongoing feature called Feline Physics where we examine to fascinating science around the behaviour of cats, we look at one of the forces that can get any cat moving at near light speed.

David Attenborough Voice

Joey’s mark is in and there it is: the fact his teacher found it to be a marvellous piece of creative writing kept him from failing. And it certainly is an interesting question: would a bear who enjoys a latte to start the day have been any more believable with Sir David Attenborough presenting? Y’know, I might be inclined to believe it…

An Overactive Imagination

Joey’s presentation apparently didn’t go as planned and his teacher believes Herb might have been a product of Joey’s imagination? Uh, she may be onto something…

Groundbreaking Discoveries

It’s the culmination of the big assignment: Joey has to get up in front of his new class and present his detailed, somewhat surprising findings after following Herb around closely for a week. Herb feels pretty confident about it. What could possibly go wrong? Also, did your school have green chalkboards or black?

Moon Hockey

The inspiration for this strip was an actual announcement from NASA on October 26th, 2020 that there is a large amount of ice located in the polar regions of the moon. Naturally, the first thing Joey thought of was not the scientific implications of this discovery, but yes: moon hockey. That does in fact seem like an awesome thing, but it only takes Joey a moment to realize there are more than a few complications with playing hockey in 1/6th of the gravity. Also, hat-tip to the first Tintin book I owned and cherished: Explorers on the Moon. The nifty orange spacesuits with the Iron Man-like light in the middle of the chest are my homage to the great Hergé’s art from that book.

Hibernation @ Home

Joey arrives home from school to find that Herb has indeed found a suitable location for his hygge hibernation. Did you seriously think he was going to end up in a cave in the woods somewhere?

Hygge

As the subject turns to hibernation, we learn that not any old cave is suitable for Herb – he prefers to spend the winter months embracing the defining characteristic of Danish culture: Hygge (pronounced “hoo-gah”). Part of Hygge is about enjoying good times with good people, but Herb seems to be more interested in a space that strictly adheres to the decor traditions. In fact, here are some ways you can give your winter space the Herb seal of approval.

Cedar Plank

By now, I think you’re understanding that Herb enjoys, um, the finer things in life… There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that of course – Herb is not your ordinary bear. And hoo boy, this is shaping up to be quite an interesting assignment for Joey. Oh, and if you’ve never tried grilling salmon on a cedar plank, well, you should.

Bears and Fancy Coffees

Joey begins the research portion of his assignment on grizzly bears with a trip to Starbean – Herb’s go-to coffee joint in Cold Springs. Herb’s journey of self-discovery begins by examining his love of upscale caffeinated beverages and yeah, the milk foam designs are indeed pretty cool.

There Is No Try

Herb has decided to help Joey with his assignment on grizzly bears in hopes it will be a journey of self-discovery. He’s willing to give himself over to his natural instincts to see if he knows how to properly “bear.” For Joey’s sake, let’s hope this is a good idea… Also: any time you can shoehorn in a line from Star Wars, you gotta do it, right?

The Assignment

Spoken like a true parent, Herb. Joey thinks he’s got this one figured out, but I don’t know about you – I don’t think Herb is your textbook grizzly bear. This might be interesting if Joey can use his powers of persuasion here.

Starry Night

As Joey settles into his new home, he discovers something amazing: the utter majesty that is the night sky once you’re free of the city. Maybe Cold Springs won’t be so bad after all… Herb’s impressed as well and it inspires him to bring out all of the constellation puns – groan!

Sängbord

We’ve all been there before with assemble-it-yourself furniture from a certain Swedish company – you think it’s going to be a snap until something was put on backwards because you didn’t read the vague instructions in enough detail and suddenly, you’re disassembling and going back to that critical step two. Joey’s dad figures he can handle this one and I suppose he does show a little creativity with this project. You know the furniture has been intelligently designed when it functions as intended even without unpacking it. Oh and yes, Sängbord is apparently Swedish for “bedside table” in case you were wondering.

Charge It

Herb seems to be settling in nicely to his new life in Cold Springs… He’s found a comfortable chair in which to do a little reading and he’s also apparently quite comfortable using Joey’s mom’s credit card. Have fun explaining your new found love of architecture to your parents, Joey.

It’s Great Pumpkin Time!

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It’s that time of the year again – Halloween night, when The Great Pumpkin rises from the pumpkin patch on Halloween evening, and flies around bringing toys to sincere and believing children.

Consistent with how things seem to be in 2020, Halloween also occurs on the same night as a full moon, a blue moon and on the night we roll back the clocks an hour to standard time (where I live). Bring it on, I say!

What is your favourite thing about Charles Schulz’ animated fall classic? Is it Charlie Brown’s classic line “I got a rock?” Maybe it’s Snoopy’s showdown with the Red Baron and his journey through the French countryside? Is it Linus and Sally waiting in the pumpkin patch for The Great Pumpkin to arrive? Personally, mine is the touching moment where Linus’ big sister Lucy carries her shivering, sleeping brother from the disappointment and cold of the pumpkin patch, back to his warm bed. Honourable mention goes to the painted backgrounds in this animated production – check out those dark, autumn night time watercolour skies!

Happy Halloween, y’all! Have fun, be safe and here’s hoping you find what you’re looking for in your pumpkin patch!

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Klunk!

Watching your pet cat and stuffed bear in a heated argument over how they are going to decorate and rearrange your bedroom proved to be the final straw for Joey. I’m sure he’ll come around, because, well… he’d better lay claim to some real estate soon or he’ll be doing homework in his closet.