Alternate titles included “Cocoa Catastrophe” and “Choc-nado of Marshmallow Mayhem.” Herb looks on as Joey surely commits a hot chocolate crime here… although it begs the question: are there really any rules when it comes to hot chocolate? I think this is a beverage where anything goes. Carry on, Joey.
Tag Archives: Herb
The Only Thing that Makes Sense
This is some true wisdom as we head into a turbulent 2024. Fuel up!
Santa Snacks
Herb decides that Santa is above the typical Christmas Eve milk and cookies — chocolate nugget bomb cookies to be precise — so he pulls together a bougie spread for ol’ Kris Kringle and his red-nosed companion. Santa is confused by the espresso and Rudolph seems to appreciate the charcuterie board, complete with name cards. I’d love to know where you find Butterkäse cheese on Christmas Eve in Cold Springs, Manitoba but I digress…
The Christmas Spirit
The Planet Joey characters rock out on stage — Peanuts style — to a holiday jingle being played by Joey and Herb. The gang is so full of holiday cheer in fact, that it seems to be seeping into Gaston’s dark soul…
Bubble Fox Guest Comic 2022
I was honoured to be asked again to create a Bubble Fox guest strip for San Diego-based cartoonist Jon Esparza, who runs guest comics by selected artists every September while he takes a well-deserved break. This one is more of a Planet Joey comic with a guest appearance by Bubble Fox to be honest, but the important thing to remember is: always make sure you’re in the right state of mind before reading comics, kids!
Back in the Saddle
After the Le Corbusier chair incident, Herb is indeed back in his old faithful armchair, a little worse for wear after literally being put out to the curb with the trash in favour of the LC2. Everything seems to be back to normal, just with a few extra insects and rodents…
Obsessive Love Disorder
Herb warns Joey to tread carefully around his new Le Corbusier chair, while Joey quickly researches a disorder stemming from feelings of extreme jealousy and possessive behaviour (and not necessarily related to fine Italian leather). Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, Herb.
Hardly Reassuring
We discover the fate of Joey’s Great Auntie Mil’s chair – out at the curb on garbage day. That’s harsh, Herb.
Great Art is Never Understood
Herb fills Joey in on who Le Corbusier (Le Cor-boos-ee-yay) is and how it relates to the piece of furniture he’s sitting in. Joey has other concerns, dampening his enthusiasm for this icon of modern architecture and design.
What’s a Le Corbusier?
Herb is bringing a little style to Cold Springs, one… piece of furniture… at a time. Here, he’s showing off his new Le Corbusier chair, which raises a series of interesting questions. The first of which is: what’s a Le Corbusier?
An Exhilarating Trip
It’s Joey’s first Easter in Cold Springs and while it’s good to know he’s still on the Easter Bunny’s list, a special delivery takes the spirit out of the day.
Soaking Wet
Joey is back home – warm and dry after his disastrous first day as the new Cold Spring Clipper Newspaper Delivery Associate – breaking down the eventful morning with Herb. Elsewhere in town, two customers aren’t thrilled about receiving only a (very wet) portion of the paper.
Fire in the Hole
Decorating for Christmas can be dangerous, as Joey and Herb discover. The hard way. Well, at least Herb does. Joey escapes into the house and makes a mental note for next year, while the unsuspecting Herb is going to… need some assistance.
Contractually Obligated
Joey’s new paper route is becoming closer to reality as he introduces Herb to his custom… newspaper delivery bike. The giant basket isn’t Herb Approved™ and the early morning hours mean Joey’s on his own. Not even a double shot of espresso could get Herb up before 7:00 AM.
Coupon Clippers
Joey and Herb discuss the local newspaper, coming to the realization that the daily print version isn’t going away anytime soon in Cold Springs. Internet speeds in remote Manitoba have dictated the need for locals to consume their community news in print and we all know that hardware store flyers are much more enjoyable printed on newsprint at an 85 lines/inch screen with shoddy registration. The same goes for the comics page, naturally.
The New Paperboy
Look who the new Cold Springs Clipper paperboy is! Wait – do they still call them ‘paperboys?’ Perhaps it should be ‘paper person’ or ‘paper carrier’ or… ‘paper delivery associate.’ At any rate, Joey is now gainfully employed in his new town in the integral position of ensuring the locals get their news – and flyers – in a timely fashion. Printed newspapers are still (barely) a thing these days, but Herb – ever pretentious – isn’t likening the local fish wrap to the periodicals he reads.
The Law of Cat Thermodynamics
In the latest edition of Feline Physics, we look at the mysterious phenomenon of why cats get so warm. A quick check of the interwebs provides the following explanation: “A cat’s natural body temperature is 102° F, which is significantly warmer than our body temperature of 98.6° F. Also, cats have a lower sensitivity to heat than humans. The heat sensors they do have are concentrated in their faces, making this area especially receptive to heat.” This sounds pretty science-y, so for now, let’s hope Joey can warm up from being in close proximity to Penelope’s warm, fire-like glow.
Dad, Slow Down!
Does anyone else have dreams like this? I have a recurring dream where I’m in a car, rocketing toward a hairpin turn at ludicrous speed, where I awaken with an intense sensation of careening through the guardrail. Fortunately for me, it’s just the sensation of the car going airborne. In Joey’s case, he physically ends up across the room, saved by Herb’s chair.
An Important Takeaway
Given time to reflect on ‘the punch’, Joey has a change of opinion upon a closer review of the upcoming schedule. Also, another hockey nemesis makes a cameo: the Ball Eating Bush has its eyes on Joey’s wayward tennis ball…
He Had It Coming
New character alert! Joey reveals to Herb that he crossed paths with… the Prime Minister of Canada. In the Planet Joey universe, that person is the eccentric Théodore Thibodeau. This raises a ton of questions of course, but readers should get used to the PM popping up randomly and unexpectedly.
Made in Australia
The weather warms up in Cold Springs, sending Joey and Herb down to the local tennis court. Joey has his struggles with the practice wall and learns a valuable lesson: never toss your racquet in frustration and if you do, always check the manufacturer’s info.
An Unconventional Route
After his punch sets off some post-game chaos, Joey tries to escape unnoticed back to the locker room. His unexpected journey takes him from the Zamboni, to the snack bar to the bowels of the Cold Springs Arena, putting his ninja skills to the test. Alternate title: A Good Skate Sharpening.
Safe Harbour
Joey and Herb continue discussing ‘the punch’, where we learn that glasses guy completely melted down and where exactly Joey slithered off to while chaos ensued…
Slither
Joey reveals to Herb what happened immediately after ‘the punch’ at their regular kitchen table post mortem. It seems as if our protagonist was able to slink away unscathed while chaos ensued…
The Gentlemanly Tradition
The age-old hockey tradition of shaking hands at the end of a hard fought game isn’t about the winning team showboating in front of their opponent. It’s about showing respect for the losing side. Or, in Joey’s case, it’s a chance to take an uncontested cheap shot.
Home Opener
Fresh off of finding out he made the team and the receipt of his fresh new uniform (including bright yellow helmet), Joey suits up officially for the Cold Springs Golden Turkeys in front of family and friends in a jam-packed arena! What could possibly go wrong?
Buzzer-Beater
Joey’s jump shot at the buzzer rims out. Again and again. The game is lost and he has a mess to clean up.
Black Cats and Broken Mirrors
There are consequences to being late on uniform day. For Joey, one of them was receiving a bright yellow Jofa helmet (circa 1981) instead of a new green lid like the rest of his teammates. The second consequence was the all-important jersey number. It turns out #13 was at the bottom of the pile. It’s true that players like Mats Sundin, Teemu Selanne and Pavel Datsyuk – all Hall of Famers – donned this number, but Herb is fearing the worst…
Yellow Hat
Joey shows up at the Cold Springs Arena on a high to pick up his official Golden Turkeys uniform after making the team… And because Joey’s stories are based on my stories, of course he gets an old yellow helmet (yes, I had a yellow helmet) and of course it’s because he shows up late. As usual, Herb has a way of putting it all in perspective at the kitchen table.
Who Came First?
In one of the very first Planet Joey comic strips ever written (way back in 2003), Joey ponders one of the great mysteries of the Paleozoic era.
Grapefruit League Dreaming
Somewhere — specifically Florida and Arizona — it’s warm enough to play baseball and Joey wants to be there. For those of us residing in the northern United States and Canada, the phrase “pitchers and catchers reporting” is synonymous with the agonizing two months before the weather is remotely warm enough to get out and play a little baseball. The good news however, is that spring is indeed on the way. Nice play at shortstop, Joey — unfortunately you’ll have to keep playing with your snowman infield for a few more weeks. And yeah, I could go for a ballpark hot dog too…
There’s Always a Catch
There you have it: Joey’s hard work and perseverance has paid off – he made the Cold Springs hockey team! And Herb’s right – there is always a catch. As it turns out, there were just enough players to fill out the roster without having to make cuts, so Joey’s on the team. Now it’s time to ponder the line combinations – will Joey and “Gigantor” play together?
Strict Orders
The coaching staff has made their decision. Will Joey make the Cold Springs hockey team? Cliffhanger alert! Yup, we’re going to drag this one out for one more strip…
Breakaway Drill
Hockey tryouts continue with Joey having the opportunity to show his scoring prowess and a theme is developing: all of these comics are ending with loud, cartoony mishaps…
The Orange Menace
Joey’s struggles continue at hockey tryouts – this time with inanimate objects. Not only are the kids bigger and tougher in Cold Springs, but it looks like the pylons are too…
Puck Battle Drill
The Cold Springs hockey tryouts are under way and the first drill pits Joey against “Gigantor” in a battle for the puck along the boards. Not only did Joey not emerge victorious, but he had to go hunting for some missing equipment. His attitude remains positive, however! Also, wearing full Leafs gear to hockey tryouts in Manitoba is definitely making yourself a target.
Thin Ice
With hockey tryouts looming and the ball-eating bush cramping Joey’s ability to practice in his driveway, he and Herb are headed over to a nearby pond to get in some practice…
No Pucks
Besides having to do push-ups or dry land training, it’s the worst punishment you can receive at a hockey practice: no pucks; skating only. Well, thanks to Joey, that’s what all of the boys trying out for the Cold Springs hockey team have in store for them for the next couple of hours. I’m sure that’ll go over well…
Jock Strap
If you’ve played ice hockey before, you’ll agree that the absolute worst thing is forgetting even just one piece of equipment. What you realize is that because it’s a game played on ice with hard rubber pucks, each piece of equipment is essential. Elbow pads offer protection from falling on the ice, gloves protect your hands from sticks and skate blades and shin pads protect your legs from a slap shot. The jock (or jill for ladies) is one piece of equipment you definitely don’t want to play without for obvious reasons. Oh and you put it on first, so you don’t want to find yourself in Joey’s predicament, having to undress – that is, if Herb can help him out somehow…
A Little Help
Joey is off to try out for the Cold Springs hockey team and he’s not off to a great start. Herb is still in disbelief that everything in Joey’s hockey bag will actually fit onto his body. And that he’ll still be able to move once it’s all on.
Uncle
The ball-eating bush proves to be a formidable foe. When we last saw Herb, he was off to tackle the prickly fiend with a chainsaw in tow. By the time Joey makes it out to the front yard, the bush has Herb locked in a deadly chokehold like a boa constrictor. It also doesn’t seem as if the bush understands the North American expression of saying “Uncle” to submit…
Chainsaw Massacre
Herb comes up with a pretty extreme solution to deal with the Joey’s ball-eating bush problem and Joey has to think quickly to keep his mom off their trail.
Escher Dreamscape
Joey finds himself enthralled by the surreal and physics-bending artwork of M.C. Escher in this edition of the Weekender. Escher’s artwork is fascinating to be sure, but for Joey, maybe not right before falling asleep…
The Ball-Eating Bush
The beast has a name! Similar to the kite-eating tree that haunted Charlie Brown, Joey has his own inanimate nemesis. The ball-eating bush is most definitely inspired by the dense, prickly, angry bush alongside my driveway growing up in small-town Ontario, Canada. I blasted many a tennis ball into that thing while playing ball hockey in my driveway and it never ceased to amaze how they would just disappear. Sometimes I’d find an old ball rather than the new one shot into the bush, but mostly I’d come up empty altogether. My parents did eventually remove the bush after I had moved away and kept a box full of the old, decaying tennis balls. I still think some of them now reside in the alternate universe with all of my left socks from the dryer…
Christmas Morning
I’ve been fortunate enough to have lived both of these Christmas mornings. As a kid, I distinctly remember laying in bed, patiently watching each minute pass by in the darkness on my digital clock radio in anticipation of waking my parents up. As a parent – usually staying up half the night – Christmas morning always comes too quickly no matter how long you can get your kids to hold off. Happy Christmas Eve, Planet Joey readers! This is always my favourite day of the holiday season, spent together with family and with palpable excitement and anticipation. Cheers!
Spiked!
The holiday fun continues around Joey’s house, where Herb clearly chose the wrong punch bowl of egg nog. That stuff is potent enough to take Joey’s curls to the next level! And you know it’s a rip-roaring festive event when the cheese ball is brought out… Fun fact: Joey is reading my favourite Christmas comic book, Pink Panther #60, A Pink Christmas.
Snow for Joey
Go figure, now that Joey has moved to northern Manitoba, it’s Christmas and he’s still waiting on some snow to make the festive season feel just right… Things aren’t looking good until Earl arrives on his zamboni and donates just the right amount of the white stuff to make a snow angel, a snowman or have a good ol’ fashioned snowball fight! Fun fact: This is actually a true story! The Arena Manager in my hometown of Thamesford, Ontario (also Earl!) did in fact drive the zamboni around the corner to my house to stave off a green Christmas by dropping off some arena snow on our front lawn – complete with a sign affixed to a broken hockey stick! I’ve been waiting many years to turn this into a comic – God bless you, Earl Carter.
Berenstein or Berenstain?
If you haven’t heard of the weird Berenstain Bears conspiracy that Herb is referencing here, maybe it’s time for you to read up on it and decide for yourself if you’re living in a parallel universe or not. Also, always be wary of Wikipedia, kids and maybe Herb – er, Herbert J. Berenstein – is a little more computer savvy than we thought…
David Attenborough Voice
Joey’s mark is in and there it is: the fact his teacher found it to be a marvellous piece of creative writing kept him from failing. And it certainly is an interesting question: would a bear who enjoys a latte to start the day have been any more believable with Sir David Attenborough presenting? Y’know, I might be inclined to believe it…
An Overactive Imagination
Joey’s presentation apparently didn’t go as planned and his teacher believes Herb might have been a product of Joey’s imagination? Uh, she may be onto something…